


no one sees the me inside of me, except for you

by akutagi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Nervousness, Self-Doubt, Useless Lesbians, accidental confessions, other tags and people def to come, yamaguchi and yachi friendship asf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24495895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akutagi/pseuds/akutagi
Summary: Groaning into her palms once more, she let the wave of laughter exit her confidant.“O-One more time, I just want to make sure I got this.” He slid down the wall, planting himself next to Yachi. “You were asleep in Kiyoko’s lap,” Yamaguchi started, interrupted by more muffled screams. “Then mid-way through you woke up, hearing that Kiyoko likes you?”“Yes…”---Yachi always assumed her feelings were one sided, but after hearing Kiyoko confide in Suga, she realizes that might not be the case. However, the manager doesn't know about Yachi finding out, leaving her at a crossroads of what to do next.***CANCELLED/ POSTPONED AS OF NOW***
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. message in the wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ! yes another chapter fic i know, but im in a mood
> 
> so since its the start of pride month, i wanted to add more to the f/f ships, since on ao3 there are not too many, which makes my lesbian heart sad :(( so im taking matters into my own hands ! each week for pride month there will be a new chapter ! (and maybe more depending on what the fic turns into, i still need to plan this whole thing out more)
> 
> also edits might be made to chapters later on but ill mention it in the notes if that happens !
> 
> regardless happy 2K20 pride to all my other wlw people !! <3
> 
> chapter title is from carole and tuesday's song with the same name !

Even though the girls didn’t do the same training regimens and fitness exercises, it didn’t mean they were any less tired from the packed schedules. Especially due to the fact that both managers had to plan everything in tangent with the coaches, plus help in any other way possible. 

So when the half-hour break had begun, every second was spent regaining energy. They were at a day- weekend practice facing against the veteran’s team, when Kiyoko could see the other girl’s lack of energy.

They were sitting on the rock’s wall, eating with brief chatter when the eyelid’s bags became more apparent. Followed by the sluggish movements and excessive yawning from the blonde. Kiyoko remembered having difficult sleep when being a first year, but nothing to this degree.

Finishing the last of her sandwich, she looked towards her manager apprentice. “Yachi, are you feeling alright?”

This seemed to grasp her attention, seeing how the blonde jump-started again and almost off the wall before catching herself. “Y-Yeah…” she rubbed her eyes, trying to get rid of the tiredness making itself at home. “Just didn’t get so much sleep, sadly.”

“Schoolwork becoming too overwhelming?” 

“No, not really… I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.” She tried her best at a smile, but it seemed more dejected than anything.

“You want to talk about it?” 

Tearing her eyes away, Yachi instead looked at her dangling feet that were moving to the wind’s current. “I wouldn’t want to burden you-“

Reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder, the blonde looked up again with shock in her eyes. “You are never a burden.”

Yachi’s face was getting hotter and most likely more blotchy, but she couldn’t see. Instead of confronting the situation that had gotten her less and less sleep, she opted for a new tactic: make a new situation to confront. 

Before she even realized, she blurted it out in the open. “Can I take a nap on your shoulder?” Followed by her smacking both palms over her mouth because _what was that?! Kiyoko probably hates me right now because who in their right mind-_

The giggle she loved so much made an appearance, bringing her back to her senses. Kiyoko didn’t look like she hated the other girl for the suggestion, quite the opposite, face and posture laced with content and joy.

“Sure, anything to make you feel better.” Motioning for the younger girl to come closer, she scooted along the wall until she hit Kiyoko’s arm.

It was a plethora of things: hard, yet soft, warm while also being attached to a chilled hand, in close proximity to Kiyoko-

After rerailing herself from spiraling into a self-made tangent, Yachi finally just let herself enjoy the wanted company. 

Some time had passed and Yachi must have been exhausted, since relatively sooner than later, her head swung down and onto Kiyoko’s lap. The third year was startled by this at first but didn’t necessarily mind, now adjusting to the new weight. 

Before she even realized, Kiyoko was brushing the bags that had fallen out of the star clip’s hold. She did look drained, but luckily peaceful sleeping, lips barely pressed together. 

“I-Is Yachi alright?” A voice asked, quickly being shushed by Kiyoko’s signal of having a finger onto her lips to keep the silence longer.

  
  
Whispering, the third year responded to her classmate. “Yeah, she’s just resting, Suga.” 

“Mind if I sit down?” he asked, already making a place for himself on the rock wall. 

There was a silence, not awkward but present, between the three. Kiyoko had resumed stroking through blonde locks as Suga reignited the conversation. 

“So, how’s everything going?” 

  
“You’re going to have to be more specific.” 

Hitting his heels against the hard wall, he didn’t look at Kiyoko. “I’ll let you take that into your own interpretation.” 

“Okay, that’s… fair.” She turned everywhere before finally settling his gaze at the somber first year. “Good, for the most part. What about you?”

  
  
“No complaints on my end.” He perked up, eyes and body growing while stretching his arms out. “Anyways, I was told to tell you both that the break’s almost done, so… what do you wanna do with Yachi?”

  
  
Maybe it was the intimacy or the fact that the first year looked like a version of a sleeping princess, but normally Kiyoko wouldn’t speak her heart into the world. “I’d like to date her, honestly.” She stiffened, the sudden change in pose making Yachi shuffle, hiding her face. Pleading with her eyes and tone, she tried to withdraw her statement. “Suga, please don’t-”

Mocking the actions from earlier, he pressed his index finger towards his lips, wink included. “Not my place to tell, but if it helps… I think the feeling is mutual.”

  
_I think that makes it worse._ “I guess…”

  
  
“I’m going to go back to the gym, make sure the first years aren’t looking for a bloodbath. I’ll tell Ukai that you’ll be another minute-”

  
  
“That won’t be necessary.” She didn’t elaborate, just retracted her head rather quickly while the other girl slowly got up. “Good morning, did you sleep well?”  
  


Nodding excessively, Yachi launched herself off the wall. Kiyoko wondered why her face was rosy again, though ultimately blamed it on the growing heat, hoping she wasn’t suffocating Yachi. 

“Great! Let’s go back then.” Suga walked faster than the others, accidentally creating a ‘V’ with him at the peak.

  
  
Neither girl talked during the short walk back, but it wasn’t weird between them either, from what Kiyoko could gather. What was rather strange was that Yachi yanked the team’s pinch server out the door as soon as they entered. It shouldn’t concern the manager, and it really didn’t, it was just… odd, but she had other matters to attend to so her attention didn’t focus on it for long. 

###

Groaning into her palms once more, she let the wave of laughter exit her confidant.

  
  
“O-One more time, I just want to make sure I got this.” He slid down the wall, planting himself next to Yachi. “You were asleep in Kiyoko’s lap,” Yamaguchi started, interrupted by more muffled screams. “Then mid-way through you woke up, hearing that Kiyoko likes you?” 

“ _Yes…”_

“Why aren’t you so peppy about this? I thought this would be good news, considering-”

  
  
“It should! I just…” Flopping his arms down to his legs, she huffed out an empty sigh. “Now, I have to figure out what to do, plus the way she acted after she said it-” Before she had time to think longer, Noya’s voice screeched outside the gym's open door.

“ _Yamaguchi! Yachi! Time to come back or Daichi’s going to make you both run laps!_ ”

“Guess that’s our cue?” Yamaguchi stood, hand outreached towards the other, who accepted.

“Seems like it.” While running back, she wondered what was the right path to take: stay silent or speak up. 


	2. kindness is what you show to me, it holds me 'till i ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i finished the outline and as you can tell from the added chapter and triple word count in this chapter, this is much more than i originally planned but oh well ;p 
> 
> song title is from bastille's an act of kindness

“I mean, what if I imagined her saying it?” she started, head and arms tipped over the bedsheets. “I was sorta tired from waking up, plus-“

“ _Yachi.”_

“-I probably have the biggest crush on her out of all the Crows... which is-“

“ _Yachi…”_

“-saying something, considering Noya and Tanaka-“

“ _Yachi!”_ the caller responded with enough force that the manager had to remove the phone away from her ear. “ _You’re making excuses.”_

“But that’s like… our brand though, Yama. Explains why we’re such a powerful duo.” She tried to make the last sentence more airy and sweetened. Keyword: tried.

Yamaguchi could see through her facades, and in turn, Yachi was very good at seeing through that freckled mask. For certain situations, it made the blonde feel safe and secure. Right now, it made her worried that he’d try to persuade her.

“I _mean, yeah, but c’mon… It’s pretty obvious that she likes you. So why are you nervous?”_ He asked it like the question was simple and cutthroat, and maybe it was for him. It wasn’t for Yachi.

The moment Kiyoko was in her peripherals, life stopped for a moment. She’d never admit it aloud, but that first encounter replayed over and over for a solid month before dissolving into her subconscious. And from hearing other Karasuno students, mainly the boy student body, she wasn’t the only one. But it felt like that- Yachi and Kiyoko, frozen in a hallway with a proposal in hand.

Maybe it was that moment in particular or getting to know more about the volleyball manager, but everything about Kiyoko rocked Yachi’s foundation. It both excited and alarmed her, not knowing which side won more often than the other. 

So, in simple terms, Yachi was nervous because Kiyoko was Kiyoko and she was…

“High school love isn’t supposed to be this hard!” She swung herself back onto her bed, almost falling due to the rush in her brain.

“ _You’re making it more trouble than it needs to be-“_

Yachi cut him off, now curling around a long gray throw pillow. “Well, I called you for help and all I’m getting right now is getting dumb Yamaguchi speeches.” Sure she was aggravated, but it really wasn’t the brunette’s fault. “Sorry…”

“ _It’s fine, no worries. But if my advice pays off I’m expecting my payment in iced coffee, okay?”_

She nodded before realizing the other couldn’t see her face. “Okay sure, but that won’t happen soon with what you’ve given me as of now.”

There was a break in the dialogue and Yachi couldn’t tell if it was her poor wifi connection from her room or accidentally hanging up while changing position on the bed. She was about to ask if they were still there before a response was present.

“ _What if you… pretend you’re dating?”_

“What..?” What did that even mean? Fake date Kiyoko?? How would someone even go about-

“ _L-Like hang out with her and pretend it’s a date. You don’t have to get physical or romantic, but just picture dating and see if you even think that’s a possibility for actual dating.”_

She must have been zoning out more than she anticipated because Yamaguchi called her name after a minute, which knocked her back down to reality. “Yeah, I’m, uh, still here.”

“ _You okay?”_ If they were face to face, Yamaguchi would definitely have that glossy eye and pouty lip look that made Yachi want to shrivel up from udder sadness. 

“I’m just thinking.” Maybe she was thinking a little too much if she was being honest.

It wasn’t… an _awful_ idea, right? The two of them hang out all the time, and maybe Yachi had already been ahead of schedule because _sometimes_ they would imagine ‘what ifs’. Just this time it would be at the forefront rather than shoving it in the deepest parts of her skull.

Yachi was scared that once she unlocked the door completely, there was no chance of resealing it.

“ _It’s just a suggestion. Just really want a french vanilla with almond milk right now.”_ He laughed trying to ease the tension, which Yachi was grateful for, even though it didn’t succeed all too well. 

“In that case, why don’t you just get your boyfriend to get you one?” Yachi traveled down the hall with her plastic cup in hand, getting ready to hopefully finish an art piece for class she’s spent almost two weeks on.

“ _Boyfriend?_ ” There was a pause so grand that Yachi made it back to her room and made her desk suitable for the project before he spoke again. “ _Oh, you mean Tsukki. He wouldn’t because-“_

Peering around for her finest tipped brush, she chuckled at how clueless her friend could be sometimes. “Duh! What, you have a secret lover you aren’t telling me about?”

“ _Wait… huh?! M-Me an-and?! No, there need to be a space between ‘boy’ and ‘friend’ because there’s NO way-“_

Trying to find the right works, Yachi carefully trekked on. “No, I just thought…. then what was the school festival from last month about?”

“ _What are you talking about?? Nothing happened?”_ Yamaguchi sounded more panicked and Yachi blurted it out quickly to not confuse him more.

“We were at the festival a-and Tsukishima somehow got stuck onto the kissing booth?? And you two like… made out for a _wayyy_ long time? Then he asked you to be his boyfriend and you said ‘I thought we already were.’ Is this ringing any bells??”

“ _T-That was for school funding a-and a good cause! And I said that because we were, are, boy friends!... oh, hold on.”_

Yachi sighed but did not verbally give a response. Yeah, sometimes Yamaguchi could be quite clueless, but she was no better. 

“ _Uhhhh I’m gonna go and call... someone really quick, but I’ll see you tomorrow! G-Good luck and you’ve got this!”_ Then the screen wiped itself back to the home screen, leaving Yachi at a loss. Without her friend, it was just her and the anticipation of what would come of tomorrow.

Instead, she decided to plug in her headphones and choose what playlist she’d start with for her session. She’d rather get lost in her artwork than in her thoughts at the moment, so that’s what she’d exactly do.

###

Yachi doesn’t know why she’s surprised to find Kiyoko waiting for her in the hallway. She _did_ text her to meet up before classes started and she _did_ get a confirmation response, but she couldn’t deny how she felt lost looking at the official manager, leaning against the wall with her mind somewhere else.

So when Yachi tapped her gently on the shoulder, they both recoiled at the shock that coursed through Kiyoko’s body. Raising both hands, the blonde quickly blurted out “I-I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine, Yachi. I just wasn’t paying attention”, she responded, eyes and body turned to her now. From inspecting her face (not like she did that often), Yachi deduced that it was indeed fine and that she shouldn’t try to over apologize. “You said you wanted to ask me something?... Are you okay?”

Yachi averted her gaze, looking down at her slightly broken in school shoes. “Yeah, I’m all good. But, I um….” She trailed off, suddenly wishing Yamaguchi had given her a better pep talk at their lockers. Could she even do this?

It shouldn’t be a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal, she was just spinning it out of proportions per usual. Whenever Kiyoko was in the equation everything seemed more complicated, which was a problem on and off the court for her. She just didn’t want to ruin a friendship over a silly fantasy in her head. 

What snapped her back from her thoughts was the slight brush of a finger underneath her chin, gone before she even realized. Looking back up, Yachi could see the taller girl bending down to meet her eyes, Kiyoko’s seeming more awake than when the conversation started. 

  
Her mouth suddenly went limp, so Kiyoko reiterated from earlier. “You don’t have to be shy, you know. We are friends right?”

  
  
The word ‘ _friend’_ lingered in the air until it went outside the open window with the rest of the breeze. They were friends, so why was Yachi so nervous to ask Kiyoko to do a typical friend thing?

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to the mall after school? Since practice got canceled… b-but if you already have plans then-”

The sudden palm on her shoulder and the stream of words from the other made Yachi stop abruptly. Smile so vibrant, that even the blonde couldn’t help from reciprocating, Kiyoko responded. “I’d love to. Just text me the time and address and I can pick you up, alright? Now, I need to start walking to class since mine’s on the other side, but great talk! Can’t wait for our date!”

Both the presence of the girl and her warm hand left Yachi at a loss for words. Following suit, she made the walk to her class at the end of the hall, which gave her plenty of time to read into what had happened.

_Driving solo in a car with Kiyoko? And giving her my address?!_ Although the two of them were close, as many would attest to, they never really hung out anywhere that wasn’t primarily a school event. So Yachi was feeling very out of her element, yet felt anticipation boil up from deep inside.

Sitting down and bringing out her agenda, she almost accidentally flipped the desk when remembering Kiyoko called their outing a date.

###

The mall was packed with people from all different groups, but that’s what happens when you come on a Friday afternoon.

The ride over wasn’t as awful or awkward as Yachi had originally imagined. Quite the opposite. She and Kiyoko were singing along to each song that came on the radio with voices that didn’t even match the artists. Thankfully her mom was at a conference when they left, since knowing her mother, she would have put an embarrassing tale into her friend’s ear.

Once they reached the mall, the first stop was to the directory, trying to see where to go first. Yachi had made the excuse of wanting to look for a new spring dress (which wasn’t really a lie, since she was always on the look for a new outfit), which Kiyoko was fine with helping. 

Time seemed to stop in the mall, or rather every shop. It might have felt like half an hour of wandering, pointing, giggling, and having ranging success in finding something to get, but in actuality, they were in the stores for almost double that amount. She had that effect, similar to their first interaction, stopping and bending time to her will. 

After the fourth store, arms slung with different sizes and styles of bags, Kiyoko motioned for Yachi to sit with her on the bench. She placed the bags down on the floor, in between her legs, relief flooding over her arms at the lack of weight. Turning over to Kiyoko, she saw that her glasses and watch were pointed downward. 

“You okay?” It was getting pretty late, and Kiyoko was an honor student like Yachi, who knew how tiring the afternoon could be after school. 

Paying attention to the blonde, Kiyoko formed a familiar smile, only tilting her lips a small amount. “Yep, just a little tired… and hungry.” Twirling the end of her hair around her finger, she asked Yachi, “You want to get some food? We could get something at the court or maybe some drive-thru fast food if you wanted.”

Yachi wasn’t jumping at the idea of being stuck in the car for another 45 minutes, but her stomach was. “W-We could get something here if you don't mind?”

Huffing out a breath before standing up, Kiyoko retained all of her bags before standing up. “Not a problem.”

  
  
Then the two started walking in the way of the food court until the coming traffic came opposite of them. A whole family was walking the opposite way and Yachi got shoved into Kiyoko by a built man. There was little room for her to try to break away, so they both walked brushed up against one another, knuckles clashing and shoulders pressed. 

They both shared similar blushes, but neither look at the other’s face to know they both shared them. 

They both got different meals from different places. Kiyoko offered to save a seat while Yachi went into a long line. Once she came back with her tray of fries, burger, and lemonade, she placed the tray down. The blonde didn’t realize that Kiyoko hadn’t noticed her, but the bouncing shoulders and head-flick up gave her an idea. “Um, you can get your food now, if you want?” 

“Right. Sorry, I was just texting Suga, but I’ll be right back.” And right after, she and her phone were gone, leaving Yachi at the circular table alone. She thought she’d follow suit and talk to a friend of her own. 

**_Yachi!:_ ** _i think it’s going well??_

She hoped it was at least, nothing signalizing that Kiyoko was having a bad time. But was she bad at interpreting signs of someone not wanting to be with her?! Was she imagining that Kiyoko was having a good time for both their stakes??!-

A rattle made Yachi settle herself back into reality and out of her spiraling thoughts.

**_Yama!Guchi:_ ** _ayeee thats awesome ! what are you two doing now :OO_

**_Yachi!:_ ** _were going to have dinner rn_

**_Yachi!:_ ** _but don't think about it in that way okay u weirdo :p_

**_Yama!Guchi:_ ** _mmmmm nope_

**_Yama!Guchi:_ ** _sounds kinda like a date sorry to say it_

**_Yama!Guchi:_ ** _but speaking of_

**_Yama!Guchi:_ ** _have u been pretending its a date ?? what are you feeling ?_

She couldn’t deny that she had been thinking that it was a…. date; on and off. Never enough to forget the harsh truth that they weren’t and would most likely never be more. The feeling was both sobering and hopeful for her.

Before she got the chance to reply, Kiyoko was already getting down with her gigantic slice (practically two stitched together by cheese thread) of pizza and diet soda. Yachi placed her phone down and both started eating.

It was comfortable silence for the most part until a group of boys walked over to their table towards the near end of their meals. 

The center one with the dark green hoodie initiated contact, looking over at both of them before setting eyes on Kiyoko. “So, you two lonely ladies want some company?”

Yachi squirmed in her seat. Kiyoko opened her mouth, drink in hand. “I’d change the ‘lonely’ to ‘annoyed’.”

“Oh come _onnnnn_ , you’re not even giving us a fair chance! Ain’t that right?” He nudged the one on his left, who nodded in solidarity. 

“And what chance would that be?” Kiyoko must have noticed that Yachi was fidgeting, since she replaced her drink with the blonde’s hand, making her anxious for another reason.

“A date, though there are three of us, so if you had another girl of yours to hook up my good friend here,” he hit the other one on his right, “That would be _greatly_ appreciated.” His eyes were going dimmer like a viper before it bits poison into his prey.

Yachi finally mustered up some courage to interject. “Another girl?” There was a minor pause before she added on. “And we never even agreed to anything?... Did you guys choose _dibs?!_ ”

The trio snickered in a disgusting unison. The one on the left finally spoke, voice lower than anticipated. “It’s not like we won’t switch around if someone in particular takes your fancy, but I do have a thing for blondes.” He winked, and Yachi was getting very anxious dangerously quickly. She wanted _out_ and she wanted an escape route _fast_.

She squeezed the older girl’s warm delicate hands as the only signal she could think of doing.

“The only issue you’re going to have is finding some other than us. Because 1. we aren’t available and 2. even if we were, you’d never stand a chance.” Kiyoko didn’t look at Yachi, but she knew all her attention was focused on her.

The leader puffed out a _tsk_ and rolled his eyes. Hands slightly in their jean pockets, they responded in an aggravated tone. “Well, whoever these guys are, I bet we could take them-“

“No men. We’re dating.” Looking over at Yachi for a moment, she hesitated before breathing out another phrase to drive them away. That’s all the phrase meant… right? “We’re girlfriends.”

They all sighed, shoulders dropping and sneakers pattering against the varnish tiles. They muttered things under their breath, not loud enough to hear. Except for the main boy, his final statement only loud enough for Kiyoko to hear. “Fuckin’ gay people. There are better ways of getting attention than acting like a freak.”

Kiyoko quickly retracted her hand, placing it on her lap and eyes locking with Yachi’s still panicking ones. “Are you alright? I’m sorry-“

“Nonono, don’t apologize. You didn’t cause this”- _I always start this. This is my fault to an extent.-_ “And besides, kinda funny that we had to act like we’re dating! Sorta feels like that sometimes, huh?” 

Yachi’s face lit up with fake smiles and shut eyes, obviously trying to cover up her lingering anxiety and make Kiyoko feel better. It worked, for a moment, but it was better than nothing at all.

Kiyoko felt like her plastic soda container- beginning to run out, nearing the empty bottom. Bubbles starting to become flatter and less apparent. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” She said before sucking the last drops clean, leaving nothing but a hollow cup to be discarded after all the sweet parts were gone.

###

Yachi tried hard not to think about the boys, who had frankly tainted the whole mood from hours earlier. 

The car ride was okay. Not as energetic as the ride there, but it was late as well. They hummed the lyrics and Yachi found herself staring outside the window and towards the new night sky.

Once they got back to Yachi’s place, they said their goodbyes and the car and the older manager had vanished.

Flopping down into her bed, she took a moment to compose herself. Taking in breaths and thoughts before changing and setting into bed after checking everything off her mental night to-do list.

It had started raining when she finally tucked herself away under the blankets. Yachi loved the rain and all aspects that came from it. The pittering on the window made her heart finally come to normalcy as well as soothe her mind.

_We’re girlfriends._ She’d said to the boys. Yachi couldn't help how ecstatic the words made her. Her cheeks became more flustered, pulse more noticeable, and possibilities a little bit brighter.

Yachi drifted off into sleep thinking she wouldn’t mind Kiyoko saying those words about them again.

—

Kiyoko didn’t have the motivation to put her all into her nightly routine. He half-assed her skin routine, switched her jean shorts for a more comfortable pair, then flopped onto her bed. 

She was thankful her mother was already asleep, not knowing what would have happened she was awake and asked how the night had gone.

It was amazing. Fantastic. The best non-date mall outing she’d ever been on. Until the group of boys showed up and screwed everything askew. 

Kiyoko was used to years of boys like that approaching her solely on the fundamentals of her looks, but it looked like Yachi hadn’t before tonight.

She tightened around the bed’s spread, trying to cocoon all the thoughts away when it just sheltered them inside. The last sentence played like a loop in her skull as many statements like that often did. 

Had she made Yachi uncomfortable by doing that? She only wanted the boys to go away and for them to continue the night and end on a high note.

_The only thing you ended was your friendship with Yachi. You’re such an idiot, for thinking this isn’t just a thing for more attention, are you happy yet?? Fulfilled maybe? When are you going to pull the plus on this?!_

Thoughts like this plagued her conscious and daily living more than she liked to admit. Kiyoko knew herself and her feelings fairly early in life, it was just her mother, others, and especially herself needed time to accept it as part of her.

The rain splashed against the window above her bed, ricocheting off the pain. Kiyoko liked the rain and the benefits it brought to the green part of the Earth, but in practice, she couldn’t stand it. The dark clouds and dim atmosphere made her regret not appreciating the lighter days.

Kiyoko tried her best, but it was hard to try and relax knowing that eventually the sunny days would come and pass her by yet again, leaving her behind in the shallow dark. Multiple storms were brewing, and each one frightened her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> storms coming ?? MULTIPLE ! what could that mean for the managers :O
> 
> see you next week for more !


	3. Writer's Note.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TL; DR
> 
> Due to many reasons, author's decided to stop writing this fic as of now, but never say never. Hopes to continue it when the timing is right for her.

Hello everyone who’s curious as to what’s going on with this fic! If that’s the case, I have bad news, sorry to say. 

I’m not too sure how to exactly express or explain myself, but I’ll try my best. 

So basically, I had the whole story mapped out and outlined. Chapter 3 is where it started getting hard to write, since Kiyoko’s mother was going to be based on people I’ve come out to’s reactions plus general reactions to having children in the LGBTQ+ community. 

As I was writing, a lot of memories that are still fresh came flooding back which didn’t put me in the right mindset to write. The next chapters would be the same point, but instead with two chapters with one girl elaborating on their personal coming out experiences, both chapters meeting up to the same point. (I have no idea if what I’m saying makes sense, but basically I had three chapters back to back based on my own experience being LGBTQ+, or in my case a lesbian.)

When originally creating this, I didn’t think there was going to be a huge issue, but it proved to be more of a problem then I thought. I also want to iterate that it wasn’t just the fic that was bogging me down mentally, but also mental health issues and personal life events that played a huge part. 

I want to emphasize,  **_I want to finish this fic._ **

The lack of WLW fics on AO3 aggravates me to no end and I would love to add more. However, at this moment I know I need to revise this once I have a better frame of mind plus some possible story revisions. 

Again, I am so sorry to have to do this to a fic, but I hope you all understand. <3

  * Sierra / @akutagi



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant say sorry enough, but again i hate to do this to anyone who was looking forward to the fic and where our managers ended up


End file.
